Decades ago, Cheryl Gray Hines’ doctor told her she would become seriously ill if she didn’t deal with the stress in her life. At the time, she was climbing the corporate ladder at Procter & Gamble, where she held numerous high-level managerial positions.
A classic Type A personality, it was not uncommon for Hines to work around 70 hours per week throughout her career. In 1994, she returned to the doctor after experiencing high fevers, breathing difficulties and unconsciousness.
“After receiving my X-rays, the doctor told me that I could go home and get a bag or immediately leave her office and be admitted to the hospital,” recalled Hines. “As my blood oxygen level went down to 50 percent, my condition worsened each day. I was finally diagnosed with sarcoidosis, an autoimmune system disease similar to lupus.”
Hines remained in the hospital for a week and was released to go home on Christmas Eve – a turning point in her life.
“It took more than a half hour to climb the steps to my bedroom. It was at that time that I realized that I needed to slow down and accept help from other people.”
Years later, she would write the book, “In Support of Myself, A Woman’s Guide to Asking for and Accepting Help from Others.”
Asking for help didn’t come naturally to Hines who suffered from what she described as “Handler Syndrome,” which entails taking on more work than is humanly possible and not asking for help to accomplish numerous tasks.
She added, “I wrote the book because I want other women to experience their lives with greater ease and joy by realizing that there is nothing wrong with asking for and accepting help from other people.”
Some key takeaways from her book: asking for help is not the same as being selfish; removing barriers to asking for help will enable you to seek the support you need; and saying yes to “angel offers” from people who want to help you will enable you to avoid burnout.
Writing has been a labor of love for Hines, who finished her book with the guidance of her editor as the COVID-19 pandemic surged during 2020.
“I wrote the book because I want other women to experience their lives with greater ease and joy by realizing that there is nothing wrong with asking for and accepting help from other people.” — Cheryl Gray Hines
“I went on three-day writing retreat to get away from life’s demands. I established daily goals that involved writing something for every chapter of my book by hand. After reaching my writing goals, I rewarded myself with a walk, nice dinner or spa treatment,” said Hines.
In addition to being an author, Hines also operates her own business in executive coaching, organization development and motivational speaking, which she began 2001.
“I wanted to focus on the areas I enjoyed the most related to executive coaching, leadership & organization development and have a broader impact in the private sector, academia and government,” she explained.
“Starting my own firm also provided flexibility to spend more time with my daughter, get involved with church ministries and contribute to women’s organizations.”
Hines’ background also includes previous teaching experience at the Johns Hopkins University Carey School of Business and creating the Gray’s Integrity Leadership Instrument (GILI) 360°, which quantifies leadership integrity and guides leaders to develop concrete behaviors that increase integrity.
With a smile that could light up Broadway and an outgoing personality to match, Hines is living her best life. A resident of Columbia, Md., she is mother to Alessandra, a senior engineering major at Georgia Tech.
“I am redefining what I want at this season of my life as an empty nester. I am focusing on building my consulting firm to the next level. I am also expanding my passion for developing women leaders to support women to live authentically and be their best.
“A second book is in the works that explores how women can live holistic lives anchored in integrity. I am unabashedly embracing my power, intelligence, skills amassed over my career, aging beauty, my voice and limitless zest for life while making family, friends, fun, faith and health a priority. Yes, I am living my dreams!”
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